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And even if it's not that dramatic, meetings may still be characterized by tension, frustration, <br />passive -aggressive behavior, an inability to see beyond the players and focus on the merits <br />of any issue, and maybe an angry social media post or two after the meeting. <br />Whatever the level of dysfunction, destructive consequences can result. Once you "write <br />off" or "demonize" your colleagues ("she's just clueless;' "he's completely hopeless;' "I can't <br />even look at the guy," "there's no reasoning with her, so why even bother"), there may be <br />no coming back. <br />Why Can't We All Get Along? A Look at Some Possible Causes <br />"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." <br />—Tolstoy <br />"Happy councils are all alike; every unhappy council is unhappy in its own way." <br />—Tanoue <br />There are any number of reasons why the "marriage" of governing body members can go <br />bad. Here are a few: <br />Underlying divisions. Underlying divisions within the community may be reflected on <br />the governing body. Communities can have fracture lines. There may be friction between <br />the "old timer" part of the community and more newly developed areas that are full of <br />"newcomers.' The interests of "old timers" and "newcomers" may not always be the same. <br />"Newcomers" may not recognize the history and traditions of the community in the same <br />way that "old timers" do. "Old timers" may discount the concerns raised by "newcomers," <br />or vice versa. These differences may be reflected in the makeup of the governing body. <br />Members may have been swept into office as a result of a controversial issue that divided <br />the community. Perhaps there was a recall election. Unless the slate was wiped clean, the <br />governing body makeup may reflect the divisions that grew from the underlying issue. It <br />may be difficult to get past that issue. <br />New or younger members may clash with veteran members. Sentiments that "you young <br />`uns haven't been around long enough to understand this town" or "you old timers are <br />stuck in your ways" may cause unwarranted rifts. And expressing or acting on such <br />sentiments can contribute to a feeling that each member isn't being accorded an equal <br />voice in discussion and decision -making. <br />That sense of inequality can also be the result of partisanship, and partisanship doesn't <br />necessarily have to spring from the type of political partisanship that exists at other levels <br />of government. Of course, municipal government is avowedly and proudly non -partisan <br />in the political sense (and by law its elections are non -partisan). But an "in crowd" and <br />an "out crowd" based on other considerations can be a type of partisanship that's just as <br />problematic. <br />Personalities. Voters aren't judging whether the individuals they elect will be compatible <br />with each other, so it's possible that fundamentally incompatible personalities will end up <br />on the body. If you have some "alpha dogs" on the body who are in constant competition, <br />friction might be a predictable result. If others then line up behind their favorite "alpha, <br />division can ensue. If several "alphas" dominate the meetings, resentments may arise. <br />12 CHAPTER 2 <br />